Oh how I'm so grateful that God's promises are new every morning, every moment. No matter how far off the path I've wandered - even if I've been down that path, seen it goes nowhere good .. and STILL go back to check out the souvenir shop - as soon as I turn back, Jesus is waiting to pick me up, turn me around and set me on the path to righteousness. Hang on, actually He just takes me to righteousness; I don't have to pass go or collect $200. This may be part of my problem... I keep thinking I need to make my way back... Christ IS my way back.
I've been doing some reading in the Old Testament, and becoming familiar with the fair-weather faith of the Israelites. As I continued to read the words "Once again" and "again" - again and again - describing their disobedience, I wanted to shake my head at those people. Come on, wake up! How many times will you have to hear the stories before your belief will no longer be shaken by an impostor?! But before I can even finish that thought, I start to wonder why those words sound so familiar to me. It's sinking in. That's been my spiritual story: Victory!!!! defeat. Victory!!!! defeat.
God speaks to me, to be sure. Sometimes I know I miss the boat. But other times, I hear Him; by His grace, I get it! I may get it, but I don't 'got it'. Because the next time a situation presents itself - to stay calm, to speak respectfully, to refrain from judgement, to forgive quickly and fully, to do God's agenda over my own - the strength, power and truth seem to slip through my tightly fisted hands. I'm not as open to receiving Christ's instruction, nor claiming His promise or power, in the heat of the moment. It becomes quite apparent that I still think my way is the best more often than I'm proud to admit. (I think I can hear Dr. Phil asking me, "How's that working for ya?").
I don't think I'm anchoring on Christ. Sure, as I'm passing by on the current of life I see Him - and I reach out and grab, holding on with everything I've got. But life's moving too fast, and I'm not strong enough. The minute life calls me to do something else besides hold onto that rope, it's gone. I've got to drop anchor; let Him hold ME. Decide that abiding in Christ -- THAT'S where I want to stay.
The Still Small Voice:
I love you. Keep reading My Word. Keep asking Me. Keep after Me. Taste life with Me. My love is never disappointing. Go to bed, dear. It's late. You need rest for all I have planned tomorrow.